Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
