Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
