Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
