It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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