well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
