eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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