What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
