The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
MIDGETS
????
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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