On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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