I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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