i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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