Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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