Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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