This dress was meant to end up on your floor
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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