When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
