I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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