He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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