Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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