I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
