best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
