The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
