I wanna passion pit in your ass
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
