just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I did not marry a roomba.
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