I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
