did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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