have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
