Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
