Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
