I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
