Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
