I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
