I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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