I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
