So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
