Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
