I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
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