it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
