ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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