I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
