Just fell off a train. Bad.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
