I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Randomize
