I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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