She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
