well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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