I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
