did you get engaged???
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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