Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
