Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
