PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
