I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So apparently I’m into choking now
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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