It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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