Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
