I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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