Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
