Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
two words...techno handjob
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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