The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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