Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
