About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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