His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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