there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
