I am midnight drunk by noon
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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