she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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