Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
