So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
