Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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