There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize