my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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