He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
