May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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